IT'S OBVIOUS THAT I AM TOTALLY AWESOME
I am MAXIMILLIAN THE GREAT, the most beautiful Iguana in the Bahamas and possibly the entire world.
I was featured on the cover of Iguana Magazine which is read by iguanas everywhere.
Maximillian isn't my scientific name, and you can just call me Max.
I am the star of the world famous web site Maxingout.com.
Behind every great website is a beautiful iguana, or at least there should be.
For iguanas image is everything.
Take a look at me strutting my stuff. I'm a bit tired of the beach paparazzi eternally pestering me with their telephoto lenses, but that is the price I pay for glory.
No matter where I go everyone's eyes are on me, and I can understand why. From the top of scaly head to the tip of my slithering tail I am BEAUTIFUL.
Female iguanas love me; this is the pose I use to knock them dead. I have a one-pack on my belly that is pure muscle. My arms ripple with power, and my legs are simply awesome. I have been working out at the island gym climbing the bushes and palm trees five or six hours every day, and all that work is paying off. You won't see another iguana with better biceps and triceps. I can do a thousand pushups and not even break a sweat.
How do you like my body jewelry? I had some body piercing done last year by the rangers at the Exumas Land and Sea Park. They obviously knew that I was the most beautiful iguana, and that's why they placed the red and yellow jewelry on the frill of my neck. Those jewels are really expensive - they are the crown jewels of Iguana Land which means I am the King. I heard the rangers talking about the crown jewels - they said they were made of plastic and will last a lifetime. Plastic must be one of the most expensive and rare gems on planet earth.
I'm sure that God loves iguanas more than He loves other animals, and that's why He made me so beautiful. Look at my regal nose and lizard lips. This face has royalty written all over it. I've been thinking about taking a title - something like "Your Royal Lowness" seems appropriate. Although I don't have thousands of minions in my royal domain, I do have one Loyal Critter in my Royal Court. That's the Royal Fly sitting on my head. He's always there listening to everything I say, laughing at my jokes, and awestruck by my royal decrees.
How do you like the blue eye shadow around my eye? Speaking of eyes, do you know how to get the red out? I have gone to the Royal Ophthalmologist dozens of times and my eyes are still bloodshot. I think all the partying finally caught up with me. Do you have any idea how long it takes to put on my makeup each day? Although my face is the stuff dreams are made of, it takes hours to apply all that makeup. I have over twelve different colors, and just when I get it right, I start sweating, and the makeup runs.
I hope you notice my fingernails. Those aren't stick-on claws. They are the real thing. It's a big problem when I break a nail, because I have to wait for a new one to grow out. When that happens, I stick my finger in the sand so no one notices the broken nail, because in Iguana Land image really is everything.
I could go on about how wonderful I am and how much the other iguanas love me, but such self-aggrandizing conversation shouldn't come from royal lips. But it's ok if you tell me about my grace and glory. I'm all ears. Whoops. I don't have ears; I have ear holes. So I'm all ear holes.
I hope you come back and visit me again. I'm the brains behind this operation, and this is where you come if you want to talk to mission control and see ME in all my glory.
Life is good.
Awesome music video that captures the essence of what it's like to sail offshore in a catamaran around the world when conditions are less than perfect. David Abbott from Too Many Drummers sings the vocals, and he also edited the footage from our Red Sea adventures. This is the theme song from the Red Sea Chronicles.
Sailing up the Red Sea is not for the faint of heart. From the Bab al Mandeb to the Suez Canal, adventures and adversity are in abundance. If you take things too seriously, you just might get the Red Sea Blues.
If you like drum beats, and you like adventure, then have a listen to the Red Sea Chronicles Trailer.
Flying fish assault Exit Only in the middle of the night as we sail through the Arabian Gulf from the Maldives to Oman. And so begins our Red Sea adventures.
Sailing through Pirate Alley between Yemen and Somalia involves calculated risk. It may not be Russian Roulette, but it is a bit of a worry. Follow Team Maxing Out as they navigate through Pirate Alley.
Stopping in Yemen was just what the doctor ordered. We refueled, repaired our alternator, and we made friends with our gracious Yemeni hosts. We also went to Baskins Robbins as a reward for surviving Pirate Alley.
After you survive Pirate Alley, you must sail through the Gate of Sorrows (Bab Al Mandab) at the southern entrance to the Red Sea. The Gate of Sorrows lived up to its name with fifty knots of wind and a sandstorm that pummeled Exit Only for two days. Life is good.
Join Team Maxingout as they sail through Pirate Alley and up the Red Sea
See what it's like to cruise on a catamaran before you spend a bazillion dollars purchasing one
After watching the Red Sea Chronicles you will be able to see yourself sailing on the ocean of your dreams
Although I like the feel of a paper book in my hand, I love trees even more. When people purchase an eBook, they actually save trees and save money as well. Ebooks are less expensive and have no negative impact on the environment. All of Dr. Dave's books are available at Save A Tree Bookstore. Visit the bookstore today and start putting good things into your mind. It's easy to fill your mind with positive things using eBooks. No matter where you are or what you are doing, you can pull out your smart phone or tablet and start reading. You can even use electronic highlighters and make annotations in your eBooks just like paper books.